Frequently Asked Questions


If you hike long enough, you run into the same questions over and over again. I’ve relalized that what myself and other long distance hikers assume is common knowledge is actually completely foreign to most people. I’ve complied a list of Frequently asked questions and how I personally deal so readers can get a feel for what I do. Here are the questions followed by my smart-ass reply. Click on the title for a real answer!

Where do you sleep?

In the woods.

What do you eat?

Fluffy bunnies.

Are you afraid of bears?

I am a wild animal. Bears fear ME.

Where do you charge your phone?

I carry a USB adapter…it plugs into trees.

Do you carry a weapon?

Yes. Two. My fists. Left and right are named Law and Order respectively.

Do you know you’re a little late for going north?

No? Really? I didn’t know. I wish the 3 other people I passed today would have told me that. How far have you hiked this year? Not 3000 miles? Bite me.